Wow!! Today marks 32 weeks of pregnancy. I think back to the day Grant and I found out and it both seems so long ago and like yesterday.
2021 has truly blessed us with so many changes and I think navigating them all has made time fly by.
So far, the third trimester has been good. I am eager to know what baby P looks like, how big she is, and when she’ll make her debut. We have her name chosen and plan to share with family very soon. Other than family, we’re not sure if we should share publicly before her birth or not. I don’t have anything against it really, but it does feel special to introduce both her and her name all in one day.
My baby shower is on the calendar and I’m so excited to celebrate with everyone! I’m starting to become anxious about not being prepared for her arrival, but I know that we truly don’t need much. We have the necessities like her stroller, car seat, clothes, and a bassinet (that was originally my dad’s and my mom used for all of us) — I will share a photo on Instagram once it’s ready! It’s wooden and uses sheets, etc. my nana is sewing for us.
As far as how I’m feeling, I’ve been good for the most part. As with the rest of my pregnancy, I’ve felt mostly like myself (just a bit more round). But starting yesterday, I’ve been dealing with what is either Braxton Hicks or prodromal labor. I’ll have pretty regular contractions but they don’t seem to increase in intensity. I spoke on the phone with L&D earlier this week, and was told to call if anything progresses. But I’m now really eager for my appointment this week to check on things. These contractions feel like a squeezing that sometimes will “take my breath away” — I compare it to the feeling of landing square on your back and losing your breath… just not as sudden or intense.
Grant and I also got to listen to baby’s heartbeat using his stethoscope… which was pretty cool! He heard it before I could, and it was definitely very faint, but we heard it none-the-less. Ever since I read in my pregnancy book that we’d be able to hear her heartbeat using a stethoscope (I think it was around week 28 or 29), I’d been begging for him to bring it home!
She also seems to be awake more hours of the day recently, rather than just at night. Or maybe she’s just bigger now so I can feel her more prominently squirming around. It’s by far my favorite thing.
It’s crazy to me to think we can possibly be meeting her within the next month or two! My gut tells me she will come early, but I know anything can happen. My mom had me at 36 weeks at 4 lbs 12 oz. And my grandma had my mom at 39 weeks at 4 lbs 11 oz. All of my siblings were small babies too. I know it’s not necessarily “genetic” but I do know that body structure may play into a way a woman births, and obviously body structure is genetic.
I’m not much of a planner but gosh, all of this unknown is killing me!!
I’ve also worked out my plan for maternity leave and that’s helped a lot with easing some anxiety around what our “plan” looks like. It’s been hard to know when the “right” time to take off work is. I know that everything will play out the way it’s supposed to though, so I’m leaning into that. My prayer lately is, “God help me lay all of my worries, fears, and anxieties at your feet. I trust your plan for us.”
Speaking of, I’ve also started reading hypnobirthing and researching some supernatural birth stuff (which is God-lead birth — there are some resources if you Google!). My entire life, I’ve wanted to be a mom. I truly feel it’s God’s calling for me and it’s something that feels natural and God-given. Kids have been in the center of my life for a long time and I’m forever grateful for the opportunities and family’s I got to nanny for through out high school and college. They’ve given me both experience and confidence in my abilities (from newborn to elementary aged). However, when I hit the third trimester a fear/anxiety surrounding birth hit me hard. It really only lasted a week or so and now I feel much better about trusting my body and its process. But let me tell you… never Google birth stories unless you’re prepared to hear horror stories from Negative Nancies everywhere haha. It put me in such a bad headspace and since then I vowed to only focus on what I can control, and that’s my mindset.
The biggest lesson our daughter has taught me already is to surrender. I’ve learned to surrender to pregnancy and give myself grace when I need to. And now I’m learning to surrender to the process of birth. I know that my body and our baby were quite literally designed for this, and that gives me so much peace. I’ve realized there is no way to fully prepare and trying to only adds to anxiety, at least for me. I’ve vowed to be open to all possibilities and plan to surrender to my body and to God the day of her birth.
My cravings this trimester have been pastrami sandwiches and popsicles. Since the start of my pregnancy, there hasn’t been one food I just NEED, but pastrami sandwiches have really hit the spot lately. So yummy!! I had the best pastrami reuben while we were in Mammoth and I still think about it today. Mmm.
I think that’s all of the updates I have as of today. But I’m so excited to share more as we decide to share her name and celebrate her on the day of my baby shower!